The wedding is the easy part: a story about marriage

FreysThanks to e-media– Facebook, pinterest, and an abundance of bridal blogs like this one– wedding planning has grown into one heck of an industry. Throw in reality TV and our celebrity-crazed culture, and weddings are entertainment as well.

Last night I was reminded, rather poignantly, of the point of it all — marriage. The coming together of two people who have committed to lasting love as they begin to build a family of their own; whether that family is comprised of a man and a woman and five children, or a couple with an adopted dog, the point is that a family will be built.

While on vacation with our own extended family, we sat together to watch a DVD from my husband’s parents’ 40th anniversary party, which was thrown by us nearly 30 years ago. My father-in-law, now 89 and grieving the recent loss of his wife, was transported back to a time when everyone he loved was gathered in one place to celebrate their union.

Like a wedding, this party was planned– from invitations to music, food and cake, no detail was overlooked. Yet as we watched the party 30 years later, our focus was only on the people; the happy expressions of family and friends as they danced, laughed, hugged, and partied long into the night. None of us could remember if the frosting was fondant or butter cream, what was served for dinner, or where we got our outfits.

My husband’s parents had an enduring marriage, and it lasted until one of them passed away. Sure it was mostly happy, but there was no shortage of challenges. Like any marriage. There are five children, who at various times on the path to adulthood hit a few roadblocks. There are now spouses for four of those children, and seven grandkids as well. Soon, there will be great-grandchildren, but I’m not sure my father-in-law will be here to meet them. I have a feeling he is longing for those in the video who have already gone.

This is marriage. Long after the gifts have tarnished and faded from everyday and sometimes rough use, the marriage will hopefully endure and a family will grow and thrive. The wedding is simply a celebration.

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