A year of high-octane planning, budget-busting shopping, parties, gatherings, good times and bad, and now it’s over. She’s off on a honeymoon, and you’re….. empty? Flat? Wondering what the heck this feeling is? It’s the post-wedding blues, and yes, they can hit moms as well as brides.
If you were heavily involved in the wedding planning, you may feel suddenly as if you have absolutely nothing to do– even if you get back into a life that was quite full before the engagement was announced. Imagine running full-out on a treadmill, not sure if you can keep up this pace, when suddenly the treadmill stops. Wait, what?
In addition to the significant shortening of the daily to-do list, there’s the complexity of the feelings moms have when their daughters marry; these feelings are as complicated and varied as the relationships themselves. Once she says “I do,” even if the couple has been together for a long time, the reality is that your baby’s attachment has shifted from you to him. And let’s face it, that is a weird feeling. I joked that it was a relief that the new groom would now be the sounding board for her rants, and the one who doesn’t sleep because SHE can’t sleep, but the truth is, I miss that shift in intimacy.
So, what to do when the blues hit? Here are a few suggestions:
Plan a post-wedding party when the pictures and video
Start a “wedding capsule” project or make a shadowbox for your daughter
Plan a spa day for you and your daughter
Plan a trip for yourself– you deserve it!
Above all, trust that you will gradually return to normal, and you will be happy that you once again have time for your friends, your garden, your yoga; whatever fills you in your free time.