The Value of a Thoughtful Welcome Gift

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The Welcome Bag

So you’re planning the details of your wedding, and you’ll have more than a few out of town guests. After you’ve scoped out some accommodations proximal to the festivities– and a couple of price points are thoughtful to offer– you should contact the properties to block off some rooms. Be sure to ask for a discount! Now, have you thought about a welcome gift for your out of town guests? If you haven’t, you should!

The welcome bag is a nice way to say “thank you” to friends and family who are traveling to be with you on your special day. It’s also a good way to provide useful little snacks and sundries, and information about the venue and surroundings. Most couples I’ve talked with really enjoyed putting this together for their guests.

A Philadelphia Welcome

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We were recently guests at a wedding in Philadelphia, and were delighted by the thoughtful welcome bag and note from the bride and groom. The bag was designed to welcome us to Philadelphia, the bride and groom’s home, and they wanted their gift to reflect their passion for the city. A specially-made bag with a custom line drawing of the city’s skyline included note cards by the same artist, and an assortment of “Philly-made” treats. Other thoughtful items included morning-after Bloody Mary fixings and some Advil to aid in our recovery from what was promising to be an awesome party!

Why a welcome bag?

Quite simply, to show your guests how much you value them, and appreciate their being a part of your special day. As an out of towner on that memorable weekend, I felt the Brotherly Love from our hosts, and a heightened anticipation of a good, good night. It did not disappoint!

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Questionable trends: The over-the-top bachelorette weekend

Trends that should maybe stop being trends, or at least need to be more thought-out than many realize – Part one in a (possible) series:

Trend #1 The “let’s all spend a fortune to rent a house for the weekend” bachelorette party trend.

I get the whole bachelorette party thing, I really do; why should a let-loose night of fun with friends be the domain of the boys? I’m not sure, however, when this whole thing morphed into a multi-day extravaganza that’s a potentially huge expense for the bridal party.

If you are in a wedding, and you won’t listen to your mother, maybe you’ll consider these considerations from me:

1. Are you SURE you want to spend an entire weekend together? Would one afternoon, an overnight and a great brunch maybe serve the purpose? If everyone’s all hung over after the first night, you really might spend the next 24 hours waiting for it to be over. Takeaway message: think it through.

2. Who exactly is doing the planning? One person? A bunch of you? Is the bride involved, or is it largely a surprise for her? Make sure there’s a point person who knows the bride’s wishes, and is a GOOD COMMUNICATOR in addition to being organized. You can’t pull this off in an ongoing group text (or cluster-you-know-what).

3. If you decide to forge ahead with your well organized point person who is a good communicator, get FIRM COMMITMENTS from everyone you hope will come. Firm commitment means GET MONEY from them. It’s really easy to say “I’m in” over a group text, and it’s equally easy to bail when you haven’t put money down (“I just realized I have to go to my cousin’s shower that day”).

4. Be creative and tap all your resources. You can’t know what resources people have to offer if you don’t TALK with each other! Does someone have a relative with a rental property or time share? Would your aunt at the beach consider moving out and giving you the house for the weekend? Would it be just as fun to stay in the bride’s cousin’s New York apartment but spend on a limo for the weekend?

5. Remember “in season” is WAY more expensive than off season for rentals. A house in The Hamptons will be untouchable in July, but in April you have a pretty good shot at affordability.

6. If you go for the weekend in __________ (fill in the blank Nashville/Vegas/AC/New Orleans), keep an eye on your bride, please. I spent the better part of a night in Nashville worrying about a trashed bride-to-be whose friends were nowhere in sight. Have a plan, people! There are predators out there just waiting for groups of gals like you.

7. Once you have the date and the place, plan out every detail. Who will make the itinerary? Lock down all reservations, know what things will cost, and decide who is paying for what. Planning a bachelorette weekend requires serious event planning, or there may be misunderstandings, disappointments, and unforeseen expenses.

Good luck and have fun, but remember, for the bridesmaids this is just one of many expenses required when one agrees to be in a wedding party. If the dress is a fortune, the wedding requires a hotel, and you are expected to pitch in on the shower, there is no rule that says the bachelorette party has to be scaled to reality TV proportions.

Here are a couple of additional resources:

http://www.bustle.com/articles/23348-11-things-you-should-never-do-at-a-bachelorette-party

http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bachelorette-party-ideas/articles/bachelorette-parties-planning-checklist.aspx?MsdVisit=1

2014 Wedding Trends: A Theme of Contradictions

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Brushing up for an overdue blog post, I spent a morning researching trends for 2014. What I found was a series of contradictions.

Gathered from such eminent sources as the knot, Bridal Guide and Vogue Weddings, here are a few contradictory pairings for 2014 wedding trends:

1. Lots of couples seem to be reigning it in, with “intimate is chic” weddings of 50-120 guests,

yet…..

Wedding budgets are on the rise, with a trend toward “all nighter” weddings with features like trampoline photo booths.

2. Woodland weddings and highly personalized weddings are big (“pin-spiration”),

yet….

Hollywood inspired glam weddings (think Gatsby, formal portraiture, and hothouse flowers) are big right now, as are 90s themed weddings.

3. There is a 20% decrease in destination weddings,

yet…

Destination wedding booking at Mexico’s Riviera Maya are at an all-time high.

4. Brights are making a color comeback,

yet….

Blush and pale pinks rule when choosing color schemes in 2014.

And my favorite contradiction is one that those planning weddings should consider very carefully:

5. Unplugged weddings are becoming “a thing,” (phone check at the door, polite reminders on websites, programs, etc.),

yet…

“Supercharged” weddings seems to be a popular and current choice (custom hashtags, charging stations, insta-everything!).

What does all this mean? To me, it says that regardless of the trends and the exploding wedding industry, there are as many kinds of weddings as there are couples planning them.

Establish a budget and start planning the wedding that’s right for you! A happy couple is a happy party.